Tony's grief
by bleeb90
Summary: What would happen if Pepper left Tony.


"Tony," Pepper's spoke over the intercom. "Will you please stop tinkering and come upstairs? We need to talk."

Tony winced. It sounded as if he had been on a working binge without noticing; again. With a sigh he dropped his hydraulic screwdriver, abandoning his latest project, and asked Jarvis how long he had been busy. Forty-some hours. Of course Pepper would call him in such a severe tone. He stretched and made his way upstairs. As soon as he walked into the living room, he began to apologize.

"I'm so sorry Pep, I honestly forgot the time. Again. I really didn't mean to. What if I write new software for Jarvis so he'll stop me from working more than twenty hours non-stop? Give him new parameters that allow him to override whatever I tell him to do? I'll even let you come up with the penalt-"

"It's not about your working binges, Tony," Pepper sighed, sounding weary.

This set all sorts of alarm bells off in his head. Her ire at his working binges were at least understandable. Other stuff they talked about as well, but never in such a way that she called him up, as if she were staging an intervention of some sort. Whatever could he have done for her to be so serious? This didn't sit well with him at all.

"So what is this about?" He asked, barely concealing his dread.

"Tony, I want to be a mother."

That simple sentence did an awesome job of short-circuiting his genius brain. Being a mother? Having his kid? Well, he never could deny Pepper anything. Could he imagine himself a father? Stupid question. With Pepper by his side they'd make the most awesome parent team in the world – but how would he get Pepper to tone her job down to a forty-eight hour workweek max? She was far more invested in Stark Industries than he ever had been. It was ridiculous, really. He'd hate to see the love of his life become the distant parent-figure he associated his father with. Hmm, nine months at the very least to work on that issue. As well for a trust fund and kiddie-proofing their homes. Oh, there were so much things to take care of and so little -

"Tony, focus. Did you hear what I just said?"

"Yes Pepper, if you want children, we'll have children. I can't think of anything more-"

"Tony, while I love you dearly, you are not what I seek in my future children's father. You are irresponsible, in-consequent. Selfish. There is this very real risk of you dying any day what with you being Iron Man. I can deal with that when it's just me - but I don't want any of that such stuff for my children. Not to mention the paparazzi... No matter from what angle I look at it, I just can't see you as daddy material."

Tony closed his eyes in defeat. He had known Pepper long enough to know she had tossed and turned over this for quite some time; she wasn't one to make her decisions lightly. There was nothing he could possibly say that would sway her.

"So, this is it, then?" He asked with a thick voice.

"Yes, Tony, this is it. During your last working binge I have moved all my stuff out of your house, pushed through the paperwork making you the CEO of Stark Industries once more, I briefed the Personal Assistant you got me when I became your CEO, and I briefed him on what he should be aware of while working for you. He is already familiar with the company and how things are done. I offered him an additional contract that will give him a thousand dollar bonus for every four months he stays for the next three years. _Don't chase him away._ I... I am sorry Tony, I never wished to hurt you like this. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Pepper..." Good luck. Find your daddy-material. Please be happy. You deserve it.

It was only when the familiar sound of her clicking heels died in the distance he allowed himself his tears.

The fact that Pepper left him hurt, of course. He felt horrible afterwards, but what he couldn't stomach was the complete and utter lack of faith everyone showed him. Ok, so he hadn't always been the most stable and responsible person. Far from it, even. But to automatically expect he would stop functioning completely without her by his side?

Didn't these people realize that with Pepper's workweeks of sixty hours and business trips across the globe the two of them had hardly any time for each other at all? If he hadn't been able to function without her in his direct vicinity she couldn't have been his CEO. It was sheer tenacity that they had managed to make it work for as long as they did.

And with being bounced back into being a CEO himself he had to micromanage his time to be able to spend some substantial time in his workshop at all. Especially when he considered his Ironman gig and the repair-time that went into his suit. He had to tone it down on his unhealthy lifestyle if he didn't want to keel over any time soon.

He couldn't even bring one night stands home, partly because he couldn't trust anyone near his arc reactor after what Obediah did to him, but mostly because Pepper had shown him the sense of fulfillment loving sex could bring, rather than the empty feeling of one-night stands. Though he couldn't escape the wholesome empty feeling he still had. Knowing he didn't come home to her, and that she definitely wouldn't come home to him.

The PA Pepper used to have had drawn the line after 4 months. Even with the easy money of just staying by his side, the man thought Tony to be so intolerable that he wouldn't work for him. No matter what the billionaire offered the man. He scared the next one away within a month. After that, he simply wrote new software for Jarvis. And while his wonderful invention would always be with him, ever prim and proper while making sure he was living the life his company needed him to live, it did nothing to the aching loneliness.

Maybe Rhodey was right when he feared for Tony's wellbeing. It felt as if the abyss he was slowly falling had a event horizon. He wanted to hold on to life, he wanted to conquer this pathetic need for human contact. He could survive captivity and torture, but being dumped felt like something he couldn't overcome? Who was he kidding? Even if that cave was rotten accommodation, Yinsen was excellent company. And, Rhodey, busy man that he was, didn't have the time to 'babysit' him all the time. What was wrong with him? Why did he need a babysitter? Why did he need anyone? Hadn't he been always this lonely?

He wiped a tear away. Who was he kidding? He was absolutely miserable. Tony began crying in earnest.

"Sir? Sir? Is there anything I can do for you, Mr Stark?"

"No Jarvis, what I need is a hug."

"... Turn me into an Android, and I'll hug the stuffing out of you, sir."

* * *

A/N: Don't expect more chapters or a sequel.


End file.
